College: For Fresh Meat

Friday. Or in other words, the last day of my first full week back to school.

As my second – and final, year of college I’m quite happy to be back. I expected the same buzz of activity, the friendly hello’s from friends you made the previous year and the reunion of your buddies. I was also looking forward to spotting all of the fresh meat, AKA the first years. Yes, we can tell if it’s your first year out of high school. You guys dress up too much and you’re all sweaty and nervous looking and you look like fish out of water. Crying might also be a dead give away. However, I most certainly did not expect the massive crowds of people. It almost looked as though there was twice the amount of students then there was last year -which there were, we made it on the news with the highest student enrollment with 9000 students. And to top it all off, the freshmen were so ANNOYING. And they still are ANNOYING.

So today I’ve decided to talk about the do’s and don’ts of college. So listen up newbies and you might survive.

1. Escalators: If your school has escalators, stand on the RIGHT side of the escalator so others can WALK UP THE LEFT SIDE. Don’t be a jerk and stand on the left side whilst talking to your friends, or just standing there blocking everybody who’s in a hurry.

2. Stairs: If your school is similar to mine, you might have escalators going up every floor and stairs going down every floor. Well, in case you haven’t already pieced the puzzle together, do NOT under ANY circumstance walk up the stairs that are reserved to do DOWN. Walk up the escalator, or just simply take the side stairs. Don’t walk up the central stairs that everyone uses to go down -especially during the rush hours of school. Otherwise you might just end up encountering very pissed and grumpy college kids.

3. Loitering: If you dare cluster with your friends in front of locker entrances, escalators, doors, staircases, and hallways, people will push you to get where they need to go. So just don’t. Go to the cafeteria, go outside, if you’re lost just ask for directions. And NEVER wait outside of a full classroom and start talking loudly. The people inside hear you, and are most likely plotting your death ’cause you’re probably annoying everyone.

4. Eating: When you’re done eating, clean up your table. This isn’t high school where everyone eats at the same time, and then janitors clean up for you (you should have still cleaned up.) People have very different schedules, so no janitor will clean your trash up right away, and sometimes there might only be one table left. How would you like it if you were starving after having 3 back-to-back classes and the only table left was filled with someone else’s trash?

5. Mirrors: If the bathroom is full, and you’re at the sink fixing your hair, your makeup and just looking at yourself for 5 minutes or more and people would like to wash their hands and go to class or eat….buy a damn mirror or use your camera on your phone, don’t just hog the washroom space.

6. Elevators: Never take the elevator up or down one floor. Unless you’re handicapped or injured. If you’re not, then don’t because some students might need to use the elevator to go up to the top level in a hurry.

These are just some little pieces of advice if you’re a freshmen or if you were a freshmen and are still doing this. If you follow these simple rules you’ll make your life a happier place and everybody else’s. Trust me.

See you at my next blog posting!